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Cats have zero compunction about walking to the center of a room filled with people, rolling over, lifting a leg, and licking something indelicate.
I want to be more like a cat.
I’m not flexible enough for uncomfortable public hygiene, but I would like to channel that feline confidence. I would like to be so me that eye rolling and judgment doesn’t sway me from the human equivalent of shameless tongue baths, hurling attitude, and slatternly demanding pets. (Really, cat? You haven’t done anything all day. You can’t possibly be that dirty.)
Given the proper setting, I will dance like an inebriated muppet no matter who’s watching. If someone questions the way I run my life, I’ll doubt myself for a few minutes but unless it’s something that I know I need to change, it doesn’t throw me for long. I’m a cat when it comes to square dancing and those aspects of my life where I know exactly who I am.
But when it comes to dating, I am a purebred sheep dog. All I want is love and I will pant at the door waiting for it and learning how to not do this makes me doubt myself in terrible ways which I think is the exact opposite of what I’m going for.
Learning how to not do this means embracing my inner cat.
You need to be a cat when finding a relationship and a dog when in a relationship.
While dating, you need to do the exact opposite of what you do in a relationship. I treat dating like we’re already in love, when the other person Does Not Know Me. This is terrible. I don’t know them either.
Don’t over think. Focus on yourself. Only be as affectionate as a 17-year-old in an Iowa diner circa 1954 could get away with. Take deep breaths. Don’t make the dissolution of another possibility proof undeniable that you will be alone forever. Don’t make the dissolution of another possibility cement that WILL ALWAYS BE SINGLE story further. Don’t make the mistakes of your past the doom of your future. Make plans to be alone forever. Backtrack on those plans in case it sends the wrong universal message. Get exhausted, stop dating. Hear the ominous tick of the dreaded biological clock, start dating.